Previously on UMBRE...
Now he's knocked her up, not much we can do, eh?
With all that's gone down,
we're more than brothers, we're siamese twins.
The boy is out of danger.
And the girl is expected to make a full recovery.
We couldn't save the baby.
Start digging a hole.
I want whoever's responsible for this to rot in there.
You have to find him, Relu. And bring him to me.
Don't you want a more visible role?
I don't want to be visible, I want to be invisible.
I like these guys. I want them. Give them to me.
I'm planning a big job with Toma.
That's 600 bottles a month.
As sanctioned by the law.
If the imported items are for personal use....
I don't know anything, Relu.
I need some help.
- Can you come? - Yes, I'll be there.
Forgive me, boy.
And tell her, too...
To forgive me.
- I came to make a deal. - You and I made a deal once before.
But you went back on your word.
Cause and effect.
Relu, you know full well
what caused the events.
- Au revoir! - We'll cover the damage. Please...
...don't prosecute him.
You live very far. I have a flat, quite near here.
You're welcome to move in, if you want. I don't have to tell anyone.
Tomorrow's the first day. The first shipment.
And today, of all days, Toma's nowhere to be found?!
And Geamanu's become worm food, too?!
That's why I want you to go to Constanta...
...and manage the shipment.
That blue BMW's been tailing us since Constanta.
He made me.
Someone told the boys in blue
all about how I planned this job.
And I'll find out who that was.
Do you want my coffee?
You won't be getting any sleep now anyway.
What's up, cuz?
Put that out.
- Milk? - Yes, sir.
What's this jalopy go for, unky? 90 thou, 100?
Hey, coachman, what's the horsepower on these wheels?
Listen...
If we're playing around, how about a hand of poker?
Call up some girls...
Tuck your dick back in your pants and your shovel in your sand bucket.
What's with the shit-slingin', unky?
On an empty stomach, too. Haven't had a bite all day.
You've got a short memory, Emi.
You forgot coming to my office hat in hand,
asking me to put you on the lads with the Spanish connections.
No way I'd forget.
I give alms in your name every Sunday.
May you live long and prosper!
All you've done so far is fritter away money. Nothing concrete.
No tapes, no sting ops, no arrests.
- I told you, I was so close, but... - Lad...
Close doesn't count.
- Don't worry, I'm on top of it. - Or are they on top of you?
- Cases take time, you know that. - What case? Show me a case!
All I've seen so far's a snot-nosed kid with a boner,
running around the schoolyard to tug on little girls' pony tails.
And when they get away, he whines they're all sluts anyway.
I underestimated them. I thought they were bush leaguers.
They're calculated. They've got smarts.
They've got strategy.
- It takes time. - Emi...
The mice aren't smart. It's just the cat that's dumb.
Europol's sending some people down.
Looks like these lads of yours have ties further afield.
In South America. Colombia.
It's the real deal.
So these guys you're sending me - I'll be reporting to them, or what?
This investigation's mine. I started it from scratch.
Get your head out of your ass, kid. Your investigation?!
This was never your investigation.
Plus, there's no investigation so far, that I can see.
When there is one - and, for your sake, there better be -
it will belong to the government, won't it?
Since that's where our wages come from, yours and mine.
If you crave the limelight...
If you want to lap up praise,
and feed your ego till it bursts, then go be an artist.
Go act in plays, have flowers hurled at you.
Go be a singer.
Have groupies chase you backstage to get you sign their tits.
Give it some thought, boy. Maybe you're in the wrong profession.
You know what I heard?
McDonald's looking for smart qualified lads like you to sling fries.
Hm?
Nicu...
Please, don't make me regret being a softie
and falling for your waterworks when you came to see me.
- Come on, man... - Let's not, I'm late.
Send your mom my best.
Emi...
Get rid of this, will you?
Anghel, pops, you old dog, hair gone white and all...
A sneeze away from pissin' your boots, and you're drooling
over 18-year-old pussy?
But what a beauty pussy is!
Even you guys should know as much.
At least in theory.
From books...
Or whatever you read these days.
- He's not wrong. - Nope.
Preach!
Can't argue there. Pussy's the best.
And these ones here, man! Jumpin' Jesus on a pole!
Man, these women can bend! Like a trampoline!
Like Hubba Bubba!
Anghel, pops, Mr. Toma paid for your wife's plastic hooters...
- One dropped. - You should've called us.
- Our supplier's solid. - Just as well it dropped.
Keeps me from looking at her face.
Pops, Mr. Toma only paid for Mrs. Anghel's tits
so you can drool over them at home.
Behind closed curtains.
Instead of going out and catching eyeballs.
If we catch eyeballs, tongues start wagging.
If tongues start wagging...
Get a load of Pop Toma's lap dog, yapping up a storm.
Not even Pop Toma would lay into me like that, Romeo!
Over where I stick my nose, hand, face and all that.
That stuff's personal, and the personal stuff...
Unless some pole-dancer I screwed turned out to be your cousin.
That it? Go on, fess up!
Could be!
Had an aunt like that, but she retired 'cause her joints gave out.
Pops, you getting on people's radars is not OK, get it?
I couldn't give a rat's dank ass about people's radars.
That wife of mine...
She's all dried up, no chance getting her wet.
She's old, and I'm still green.
Where it matters, at least. And you only live once.
Right?
You live once, if you're lucky.
But the old days are gone, pops.
Sugar talk and niceties aren't gonna cut it.
No more patting each other's prostates.
You know who you're messing with, you pissant?
Really? Answering threat with a threat?
It's no good. It's...
...redundant.
How about instead you tell me who you've been talking to lately.
Who's that?
Well, we had a shipment come in and it got messy.
Only a few lads were in the know. All solid, except you.
And before you say you didn't, I say you give it some real thought.
Save yourself more toothache.
- Uh... I talked to this guy. - Oh, you did, did you?
So it's not just muff. You're into guys too. What guy?
I don't know. I...
I asked. He didn't name any names. He's got a basement office.
A basement office? You should've said, I know him.
- Uh? - Go on.
He wanted to know about Mr. Toma.
And what did you say?
- Nothing! - Nothing-nothing?
Nothing. Just what's common knowledge.
You just said "nothing". Is it nothing, or common knowledge?
I said nothing!
I ask the questions, you answer.
Tell the truth and we're all good.
Don't tell the truth...
IT'S NOT ANGHEL.
- Cuz? - Hm?
Make mine strong enough to stand the spoon up.
Are you sure it's the teaspoon you want standing up?
No sugar for you, right?
Pass me that ashtray, will you?
Thanks.
You make a darn good coffee, cuz.
- Shame. - Twenty-five years?!
Twenty-five years!
You'd've put me away! Twenty-five years inside!
He made me! He made me do it! I swear he made me do it!
You guys are my family, Relu, I'd never do...
You'd never do, what?! What you did?!
Sit down. Sit the fuck down!
He forced me to.
He raped me.
- Who raped you? - The copper.
The guy who's out to get us. He's mad.
Pinocchio isn't our favorite fairytale, cuz.
It's too sad. You know, in real life, Pinocchio snuffs it.
Hanged by his enemies. The fox and the cat.
- For being a liar. - He made me do it.
He raped me. In his office, at his work.
- Who is he? - The copper.
DIICOT? Who is he?
I didn't ask if he was DIICOT while he was fucking me from behind.
Sit.
What does he know about me?
Uh? Nothing. He knows about us.
- When did you guys start talking? - We're not talking.
It was once. I didn't talk to him.
When?
Uh? Before the shipment.
I swear I won't say anything more.
I swear!
Oh, no, you will say more.
Cuz, you're a hottie.
Always have been.
And the choices you make about your ass, your soul
aren't my concern.
You know I don't judge, I'm an open-minded fellow,
got my manners and my schooling in the slammers of the West.
When you were fucking for a leg-up, to put it elegantly,
as you deserve,
I was the only one who honestly said, 'Atta girl!'
But even for a hottie like yourself...
Don't you think 2 million euros for a fuck is a bit steep?
I'm sorry the guy didn't pay you upfront.
- But why should I foot the bill? - I didn't tell him!
He... he doesn't know.
Your cop's not my problem, Nico. And neither are you.
You know how I realized that?
I was just thinking, say I slice cuz up into eight 7-kilo chunks,
so I can fit each cut into a 15-liter trash bag,
and throw her right down the chute.
It's Saturday. Trash day's not till Monday.
Romanians are pigs, scarf their faces, you know trash'll be piling up.
So, it'll all get jumbled up, no one's gonna find her.
Say I do the copper in, the same. What's that gonna fix?
There'll just be another cop. My two mill's still gonna be missing.
And I'll still have to answer for it.
'Cause I'm not alone in the world.
But who's gonna make me a coffee this good then?
We brought the plastic bags, the works.
What do we do now?
What?
Anything.
I didn't catch that.
I'll do anything.
I'll do anything!
This stays between us.
Just as well you stopped me.
What?
Hello.
I wanted it to be just us. Cozier that way.
We won't get too cozy. I'm on the rag.
There are ways around that.
Any of those ways not involve me?
I'm afraid not.
Isn't it nice here?
Wanna take a photo?
No, I'll leave that to you guys. You're the pros.
Can I get you anything to drink, madam?
- Are you calling me 'madam'? - Miss?
I haven't been that in a while.
The lady is joking. Bring us another water...
A Vodka Martini. Make that a double.
Breakfast?
- Yes. - No.
Did you know that, in the '92 presidential race,
when Bush was facing off with Clinton,
Bush looked at his watch?
And the viewers were very disappointed,
said they didn't need a president who can't make time for them.
So they voted for Clinton.
Wow. Highly interesting.
If I'd known to look at my watch, maybe you wouldn't have raped me.
Why didn't you call for help, if that was rape?
Although it's better to yell 'fire', if you want anyone to come help.
Why didn't you grab a chair, knock me on the head after?
Why didn't you report it? Have the cops take fresh samples...
...off those cattish thighs?
And off those hard butt cheeks?
Have them kick me to the curb. Throw me in jail.
Have the lifers give me the thrashing I deserve?
I could still smell your perfume three days later.
Then I swapped it out for something stronger.
I'm sick. I'm gonna throw up.
Are we pregnant?
It's called 'cognitive dissonance'.
When you've got two conflictual thoughts, two feelings at odds.
"The cop's an asshole..." "The cop raped me..."
- That's one. - That's the only one.
Let's make honesty the bedrock of our relationship.
What do you think?
You know full well that, deep down, there's another thought.
You hate yourself for thinking it, but you are thinking it.
"This asshole cop is putting it all on the line."
'His investigation, his reputation, his career..."
"His entire life. And for what? 30 seconds of..."
"...touching me, feeling my skin, entering me."
When was the last time you had a man go so crazy over you?
Am I a monster?
You are.
You're all monsters.
All jonesing for pussy.
Makes no difference how you get it, by flattery or force.
You all pant, and moan, and sweat.
You all find God and then abort Him wherever you can.
And start all over again.
You are a monster.
Wanna know how I know?
In your shoes, I'd do the same.
I'd fuck you all.
Whenever I wanted.
Like the slaves that you are.
You'd fuck us all? Start with me!
That's what it's all about, right?
Control.
Power.
Did you ever get this much power from the Captain?
From Relu?
Or from your dad?
So that's what you want?
If that's what you want, there's plenty girls out there
who'd put lipstick on your ass for 300 bucks
and fuck you while you're in your mommy's heels.
Those were the days!
It's not about what I want. It's about what you want.
I want you to take your hand off me so I can use the bathroom.
Motherfucker!
Hey!
What the fuck, Teddy?
I almost called the cops on you.
That would be ironic, eh?
You calling the cops?
How about you let me get some breakfast
before you start dropping hints on me, hm?
- Come inside. - I'm not coming in.
Why did you come by if you're not gonna come in?
To take the dog.
- For a walk? - To my place.
So after being away for so long, it just now dawned on you to take the dog?
- That's right. - Good for you.
That says a lot about...
how clear you are on what you want in life.
What I wanted was a child, but...
Oh, well. That fell through.
But it's not all bad.
The kid's out of the picture, but now I get
to play in the park with my dog as long as I fucking want.
Leave the dog where he is. You'll make another baby.
How about you get another dog?
Teddy, boy, you can't just take my dog!
- Your dog? Since when is he yours? - Since I bought him for you.
Get a load of you!
Same goes for that flat you're in. That's mine, too.
You two just live there.
Take the dog?! Do you even know how much his food runs to a month?
A thousand euros!
Planning to ask your mom for it? She'll just ask me!
So don't be coming round here all cocky at the crack of dawn
- ...talking big at me! - Stop waving that club in my face.
Say what?
I'm waving it in my own yard, clear?! In my yard!
- I'm waving it in my own yard! - Stop.
Blimey!
No one comes into my home to tell me what's mine and what's not!
Fine.
Fine, you pharaoh.
I hope they bury you with all that's yours.
Cram you in your crypt with it.
Can't wait.
I'll save you a corner.
The dog stays put.
Great stuff, kids! Way to go! Atta boy, Mihai!
Don't forget to breathe, Mihai! That's it. Right arm up!
Great job! Bring it over!
Bring your right arm over! That's it, Mihai!
Great job, Mikey, bring it over! Awesome!
Look at that chump go, man! Like a torpedo!
That piggy's got no chance in hell. Bet he's a smoker too,
his lungs can't cut it, see?
- Go, go, go! - Who are you?
Sabin, man! Come on, kid, don't just float, go!
- Shake a leg, go, go! - Please, stop yelling at the kids.
You're psyching them out.
No, it's you who psych them out.
- Why did you guys kick Relu's kid out? - Who?
Oncescu, man. Long-haired kid.
Swims like an eel, not like these loafers. Why did you kick him out?
- His dad sent me to fix it. - Can't be fixed.
Oncescu tried to drown two of his mates.
- You don't say! - Uhum.
- Where was that? - In the pool.
- This pool here? - Yes.
- In the deep end, or the shallow one? - Does it matter?
Of course it matters. You can't drown in the shallow end, eh?
Yes, you can. The shallow end is 1.60 meters deep.
Some kids are shorter than that.
He's here about Oncescu.
He's not getting back on the team.
- And who might you be? - The head coach.
- Swim coach? - Yes.
- I won Silver at the Nationals. - Doing what?
Swimming.
What's your stroke? That one in the Bible,
splitting the water down the middle and walk on the bottom?
- 'Cause you don't look too aerodynamic. - It's hydrodynamic.
- What he said. - What? Look...
There's nothing to talk about. We don't want psychos around here.
Oncescu tried to drown two of his mates.
Come on, who here hasn't tried to snuff a mate when we were kids?
You know how it is. Kids make waves. In the pool, too.
Excuse me?! We're done here.
Hey, hey, hold up, ma'am.
Hold up. Here's the deal...
I already outdid myself with this nice guy act, get it?
Why don't you let me sort it out with him?
And, since you're such a chatterbox,
come over tonight, my place. How does that sound?
Smoke a coffee, drink a ciggie? Eh?
YIKES!
You were about to fall in the water. You'd've splashed it all over the side.
So, my man. This kid's got issues, get me?
His folks split up. Got divorced.
If he's coming to the pool, at least he's got a purpose.
Somewhere to go. That end of the pool.
That end of the pool - that end - the other end...
Got it? That way, he'll be too tired to get up to bad shit.
And how do we prevent another accident? I can't just...
Here - use it to grow another eye.
And, if you have to, split the pool in two, boss.
One side for him, the other for the schmucks.
Like in real life.
You cannot use the pool without showering first.
Don't be daft, boss!
Take a bath before taking a bath?! That's insane! What the hell?!
GERONIMOOOO!
AAARGH!
Boss, where did you get those tiles?
What are you asking him for? It's my house, ain't it?
So, where did you get them?
They'd be a better fit at my place. I'm from the seaside.
Where the Delta is.
So you're gonna tile your house with the view you already have?
Or the view you'd wanna have? Like an oasis.
Somewhere to escape to.
Why would I escape, if no one's got me?
Lads, those aren't tiles. It's a mural.
Diego Rivera sound familiar?
Hm?
Hm? Hm? Hm?
Yeah, same here.
How about we talked about stuff we're all familiar with?
Lads?
When you go buy a car,
they let you take it out for a spin around town.
Get a feel for the throttle. See how the brakes handle.
If there's room to screw a chick on the back seat.
Or a fella.
What we did, my bro, pop Toma and I, was take the car,
drive it 100 meters, and crash into a fence.
So, look.
We either pay for it, walk away, and never drive again,
'cause we can't afford a new one...
Or we pay for it and get another one in leasing. Leasings.
- Why pay? If we crash the dealer's car. - The car isn't worth 2 million euro.
- Bugatti Veyron sure is. And there's... - Boss!
Let's drop the car metaphor.
'Cause... Let's just get real.
Another shipment is coming through end of next month. From Ukraine.
This isn't a test drive anymore. It's the real deal.
Nine million.
We can't come up with our share.
No need to. We're distributers on this, not buyers.
We only pay after we get paid.
We get it 90 percent pure, then cut it, get it down to 60-70 percent.
- That works out at a profit... - Nicu.
- You lost your marbles? - Why, bro?
We still have to cough up 700 k each
to cover what we lost.
700 thousand, eh? It's not peanuts.
I have to sell some land and a house to come up with that kind of cash.
Good thing you've got stuff to sell.
Others paid with their hands, or feet, most of'em lost their heads.
We don't know what happened to Geamanu. Or where Toma is.
Or who sold us out. And now we're gonna walk right into the lion's den?
Right into his den...
Or hers.
Bro, you can just pay the debt.
And tap out. Like when we played footie in school.
Some offense, some defense. Remember, cuz?
Of course you do, you've got a brain for details.
Bro'd sit the game out, down with tummy migraines.
Fuck off with the footie talk. This is about money, not footie.
It's about our lives. Someone sold us out.
That's why I want... to suggest...
We stop. Well, maybe not for good.
But for 6 months, a year...
Just till the cops get bored and get off our backs.
Like I can go make demands on the Spanish?
Tell'em to just hold off for a year, 'cause I'm good for nothing.
I can't take three trucks from A to B in my own country.
Best case scenario, they cut us out of the deal.
- Need me to explain the worst case? - Nicu...
We have the cops on our tails.
Yeah, boss, but we've also got a trump card.
We know we have the cops on our tails.
How do you know someone's lying to you?
You think back to a time when you're sure they were honest.
And you compare the two.
Side by side.
But if they're always lying...
- There's nothing to compare, eh? - More importantly...
Can you even tell they're lying?
And if you keep lying all the time...
And then you're honest once...
Who's gonna believe you then?
What's this, now?
Psychology 101 with Relu and Nicu?
No, not Psych, bro. Strategy.
Oh, so it's a plan you cooked up together?
It's a plan Relu cooked up together with Relu.
- And I liked it. - Go figure!
That's a first, you showing initiative.
It's new, boss.
Started when I ran from the cops and a 25-year rap in the field.
What I'm hearing is, we're gonna take the cops for a ride.
Which I, for one, would do for free.
If there's a few mill to be made too, that's gravy.
Hey, wifey, where are you?
Magda...
- Magda? - Boo!
Man, you're postal!
- Pfff! My heart's pounding so fast! - Let me see!
Pound one out for me, go on!
I'm not convinced!
- That I have a heart beat? - That it beats for me!
Maaan...
My heart beats...
It beats for you...
Did you bring him?
I didn't. He was sick.
- No way, how come? - He was sick.
Throwing up. I guess my folks fed him something bad.
But I'll bring him soon, OK? Promise.
I made him a dog bed.
You went all out on the toys.
Didn't buy that many. Some were the baby's.
He won't be sleeping in our room anyway.
- Why can't he sleep with us? - 'Cause Teddy snores.
For one thing. And he farts.
- Mad stinky. - Yeah, I know.
- Teddy the dog. - Uhum.
Man, you...
God, you're strong!
Are you made of Kryptonite?
You nincompoop! Kryptonite was Superman's weakness.
Hm.
Like his Achilles' heel.
Achilles' Kryptonite?
Yeah, jackpot. And Superman's heel...
- You're my Kryptonite. - I'm your heel, too.
Achilles', too. And Superman's!
- Hey? - Hm?
Wanna see where Superman comes from?
- I think I know where he's from! - Do you?
Wait... wait!
Wait... Wait, wait...
Wait...
Wait a sec...
- Is it your period? - No.
- Magda?! - It's nothing, it's the...
It was a bit rough and the doctor said this might happen.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
What did you go and do?
Made some moussaka.
Like yours.
That's not my moussaka.
It's got meat, it's got potatoes. Same one.
Hey, so...
When I told you Chuckie got in trouble with the swimming pool, you said
you knew the coach and you'd handle it.
- Right. - So?
- I handled it. - You handled it?
Yep, it's all sorted.
- How did you sort it? - Sensibly.
And with great care.
By sending an ape to bully the coach? Is that how you sorted it?
That's a racist slur. Calling Sabin that.
I meant his behavior.
I meant, it's slurring the ape.
The coach called to say this guy you sent
threatened the head coach and bribed him,
so they'd let Chuckie back in.
Do you even know why they kicked Chuckie out?
'Cause he kicked ass and showed up the others.
He tried to drown two kids.
Was this in the deep end or the shallow end?
Sorry?
Was it in the deep end or the shallow end?
- There's a difference. - What's the difference?
In layman's terms, for us regular folks who aren't psychos.
It's dangerous in the deep end. But in the shallow end, it's not.
It's murder at one end, cutting capers at the other.
They're not only not taking him back, now no other pool will have him.
- They'll take him. - Oh, really? How?
You'll go and break the coaches' legs? Set fire to their pool?
That's nonsense. You can't set fire to water.
If you could...
I don't get what you're getting so worked up for.
He's done the swimming thing for years. He's not gonna turn pro.
He knows enough not to drown. What more do you want?
I want him to learn some discipline.
To stick to a schedule, so he's not out, looking for trouble.
And when he comes over here, I want him to do more
than just sit and stare at the TV for hours on end.
I only turn the TV on when the museums are closed.
Did you at least cancel the porn channels?
I didn't.
Why not?
I don't have a TV anymore.
- How come? - I threw it out.
It was a bad influence on Chuckie.
Why don't you have a TV anymore?
- And why's your house upside down? - The cops raided it and wrecked it.
What did you do this time?
- Do you really wanna know? - Yes, I do.
I did... what I had to.
And I think it would be best if...
Chuckie spent less time here for now.
Just see less of each other, overall.
See each other less?
I mean... not see each other... for a while.
So, which is it? Less or not at all?
Not at all... for a while. Until I sort this out.
You've been sorting it out for so long...
I got tired of waiting.
Come in.
- Take a load off. - Nico!
What were you thinking?!
It's not like I had a choice.
- Is it true? - Is what true?
What...
- What you said last night. Is it true? - Yes, it's true.
No, thanks. Don't bother. I don't need anyone's pity.
Why didn't you report him?
Report what? Who'd take my word over his?
The guy with the sideburns and moustache?
He turned up at my house.
What was left of my house.
I've got a bad feeling about him, Nico.
A really bad feeling.
I think his wiring's all wrong, on the inside.
That's true.
I'm not just saying that 'cause of what he did to me.
He's not right.
He's obsessed. He's hunting us.
Way to go, Nico.
Good job. Letting the fox into the henhouse.
- No, but... - That's the guy you offer up to Nicu?
You promised as much last night, among hiccups, tears and snivel.
This guy?!
You think he's gonna fall for it?
All the bad info you're gonna feed him about us, all the dead ends?!
I can tell you right now, he won't.
How did you put it? He's on the hunt, right?
And then? What are you gonna do?
The same thing you did last time.
Except you won't come out alive a second time around.
We brought plastic wrap last night. Got it?
I've never seen you like this.
- You're scared. - Yes, of course I'm scared.
I'm scared. Of Nicu. And you know why?
'Cause he's always wearing sweatsuits. So he's comfortable...
In case he's got to go to work. I used to wear them too, Nico.
And I remember the kind of work I did when I was wearing them.
I'm scared of this copper, see?
'Cause I looked into his eyes and you know what I saw?
Nothing.
Nothing at all.
And you figured...
...you're gonna bring them both down.
We can bring them down.
When I ran from the cops, in that field,
when I drove that truck with the 25-year stretch in the back,
that's when WE stopped doing anything together.
Listen...
Were you in the car with them?
With whom?
With the cops, when they were on my ass, in the field. Were you in the car?
What?!
No. I wasn't.
Stay.
- I'll tell you... - I didn't bring my face cream.
Can't sleep without it.